With the script of the pen it will be over ....

Not like any other ordinary Monday, but one of lesser thoughts. Received a call today finally after waiting weeks on end from Samorti. He has a layover in Dulles next week for 3 hours wants to meet up with me. Strange how things turnout we get along so good when we are not under the same roof. And I here even lately having second thoughts of joining him, thinking and I still do is this really the right thing to do. The heart say's yes but my mind tells me no I battle that situation out everytime I go to bed. Which undoubtly withholds me from getting any of my rest at all that I need.

Divorce in an airport terminal it's turned out to be not a good situation but than again maybe it is for the best. I must of been crazy at the time or caught up in the moment as my friend Kym tells me. Never thought it would end, instead of a sleepless in seatle experience I end up with ink on paper in a terminal. Ending it all, now I feel like I am trying to talk myself out of this but we can't go on living like this.

Argh I just feel like giving up, I'm not sure how much of life's obstacles that I can take anymore. Litterly, though I've had enough....I've tryed turning to God for answer's but I'm just not getting anywhere I can't feel it anymore. The inspirations that I've had for so long are gone. I don't even know where to begin to pick up the pieces my heart has grown leary I think he has abandoned me.

I'm lost.