Time spent....
I know I've been completely off on my blogger, but not that anyone's been complaining but I had to take alot of time to heal lately. Alot has been going on with me emotionaly that to sit here and explain everything well I'd run out of blogger room. With weeks spent in Kuwait I found myself in a depression after spending a day with children in a small town on the other side of the border of Iraq. A realization of how cruel and mental our world can be and how we as humans have absolutely no sympathy for one another, but have selfish attitudes for everything for ourselves.
I found I have been taken alot for granted and that one thing I let slip the most is my faith in God. I spent a time in a mask here and found the call, the warmth that I have been missing. Here I let God slide when all along he was right there with me. I didn't even know it and it took poeple who have absolutely nothing but their faith to guide me right back where I needed to be. Hopefully soon I'll have my pics to uploaded so those who want to take a look at some realization of what is and not just what the media for tells can have a look. I like to start sharing my travels with everyone so I think what I will do is to upload them here for all to see.
Now that I been home for a while I did wonder back into the evils of depression, but as a friend who I thank so humbly for awakening me and making realize that I needed to get some help with my inner feelings and guidance. Thanks Kym, I know I have been so pathetic to you lately and not endulging in your happiness of your work which has brought you much luck and fame. Its funny how for once there you were for me, someone who litterly grabbed a hold of shoulders and dragged me to that mirror and said LOOK! You helped me through a tramatic time of losing someone I thought that could of been the one when in reality he was someone himself that had issues of his own. In which at times mentally and physically took it out on me which in the end made me feel as if everything was my fault. That I am the one who couldn't make the relationship go any farther than what it was going and that was banging me against walls to a point my back almost broke. I have no way in words or measures on how to thank you and Jarod for coming to my rescue while I was in Africa months ago and again now. As he has resurfaced to try and make face to me again the same man.
To continue to find my subtle peace of mind I have turned to my faith and relinguished my connections in God and the work he continues to want me to carry on. I don't know why all these years I have been so nice to people and litterly been treated like crap. I now realize also that I shouldn't ponder on the past but continue to strive and be happy. For its what makes me happy that will make my inner self feel more appreciated and make me a much better person more so to others as well as myself.
It's going to take sometime but its a healing process I must do now and with the help of friends to guide me hopefully I will be back on my feet again soon.
I found I have been taken alot for granted and that one thing I let slip the most is my faith in God. I spent a time in a mask here and found the call, the warmth that I have been missing. Here I let God slide when all along he was right there with me. I didn't even know it and it took poeple who have absolutely nothing but their faith to guide me right back where I needed to be. Hopefully soon I'll have my pics to uploaded so those who want to take a look at some realization of what is and not just what the media for tells can have a look. I like to start sharing my travels with everyone so I think what I will do is to upload them here for all to see.
Now that I been home for a while I did wonder back into the evils of depression, but as a friend who I thank so humbly for awakening me and making realize that I needed to get some help with my inner feelings and guidance. Thanks Kym, I know I have been so pathetic to you lately and not endulging in your happiness of your work which has brought you much luck and fame. Its funny how for once there you were for me, someone who litterly grabbed a hold of shoulders and dragged me to that mirror and said LOOK! You helped me through a tramatic time of losing someone I thought that could of been the one when in reality he was someone himself that had issues of his own. In which at times mentally and physically took it out on me which in the end made me feel as if everything was my fault. That I am the one who couldn't make the relationship go any farther than what it was going and that was banging me against walls to a point my back almost broke. I have no way in words or measures on how to thank you and Jarod for coming to my rescue while I was in Africa months ago and again now. As he has resurfaced to try and make face to me again the same man.
To continue to find my subtle peace of mind I have turned to my faith and relinguished my connections in God and the work he continues to want me to carry on. I don't know why all these years I have been so nice to people and litterly been treated like crap. I now realize also that I shouldn't ponder on the past but continue to strive and be happy. For its what makes me happy that will make my inner self feel more appreciated and make me a much better person more so to others as well as myself.
It's going to take sometime but its a healing process I must do now and with the help of friends to guide me hopefully I will be back on my feet again soon.
posted by loner at 1:54 AM
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