Maybe I am building or have built my own Wall...
Lately I cannot bear to listen to another Michael thing. Yes I'm such a bad person, if you think oh well so be it. He has helped me through so much with his words and music, but now with what is going on with him and his life I cannot bear to listen. It saddens me to a depressed state which causes me to reach for the comfort of a evil I wish not to partake in.
I got out an old album the other day as I sifted through many that I have looking for something to give me peace. Help me realize what direction I need to go. I needed that inspiration to move on. I'm finding traveling is beginning to take it's tole on me. My next project is Kuwait whether I return or not no one really knows my fate now is not in my hands no longer as it has been it's now in Gods.
As I said I was sifting through my albums and came across Pink Floyd "The Wall." Surprised myself I have not listened to this album in over a year. As I lay in the dark the mystical tones over took me and the lyrics became all so familiar from song to song. I ly their thinking OMG if any album could depic my feelings right now it's this album, THE WALL.
I've built so many barriers now in my life that alot of friends I have just blocked off from entering my life. Why I chose this I have no idea they have done nothing to me. I just feel so helpless and withdrawn from everything. That to return to socializing is becoming harder for me. I've never stuped this low before that I am finding it hard to get out.
And THE WALL made me realize what kind of life I am making of myself. I am destroying that which is "me" and I am in fear the inevitable now is near and for that I cannot stop. I've spent the last part of the few weeks with family, and some close friends that are near but there are so many that I wish to have spent time with who mean so much to me that are afar. To you all that I have not been able to say my goodbye to I will alway's bless and remember you in my heart. Life takes us on paths whether we want to travel on or not but its those people that touch us along that path who become the blessings that we are thankful for everyday. And that I am of all of you who are dear to my heart and you know who you are.
Maybe someday I'll be able soon to take this bricks within my walls and knock them down and be myself again. But until than your patience will have to do, you must bear with me. As I begin my own journey to break the wall.
I got out an old album the other day as I sifted through many that I have looking for something to give me peace. Help me realize what direction I need to go. I needed that inspiration to move on. I'm finding traveling is beginning to take it's tole on me. My next project is Kuwait whether I return or not no one really knows my fate now is not in my hands no longer as it has been it's now in Gods.
As I said I was sifting through my albums and came across Pink Floyd "The Wall." Surprised myself I have not listened to this album in over a year. As I lay in the dark the mystical tones over took me and the lyrics became all so familiar from song to song. I ly their thinking OMG if any album could depic my feelings right now it's this album, THE WALL.
I've built so many barriers now in my life that alot of friends I have just blocked off from entering my life. Why I chose this I have no idea they have done nothing to me. I just feel so helpless and withdrawn from everything. That to return to socializing is becoming harder for me. I've never stuped this low before that I am finding it hard to get out.
And THE WALL made me realize what kind of life I am making of myself. I am destroying that which is "me" and I am in fear the inevitable now is near and for that I cannot stop. I've spent the last part of the few weeks with family, and some close friends that are near but there are so many that I wish to have spent time with who mean so much to me that are afar. To you all that I have not been able to say my goodbye to I will alway's bless and remember you in my heart. Life takes us on paths whether we want to travel on or not but its those people that touch us along that path who become the blessings that we are thankful for everyday. And that I am of all of you who are dear to my heart and you know who you are.
Maybe someday I'll be able soon to take this bricks within my walls and knock them down and be myself again. But until than your patience will have to do, you must bear with me. As I begin my own journey to break the wall.
posted by loner at 2:43 PM
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