Everybody thinks of changing humanity, yet nobody thinks of changing himself.

Life is what you make it. Reality is what you choose to view it as.

With the script of the pen it will be over ....

Not like any other ordinary Monday, but one of lesser thoughts. Received a call today finally after waiting weeks on end from Samorti. He has a layover in Dulles next week for 3 hours wants to meet up with me. Strange how things turnout we get along so good when we are not under the same roof. And I here even lately having second thoughts of joining him, thinking and I still do is this really the right thing to do. The heart say's yes but my mind tells me no I battle that situation out everytime I go to bed. Which undoubtly withholds me from getting any of my rest at all that I need.

Divorce in an airport terminal it's turned out to be not a good situation but than again maybe it is for the best. I must of been crazy at the time or caught up in the moment as my friend Kym tells me. Never thought it would end, instead of a sleepless in seatle experience I end up with ink on paper in a terminal. Ending it all, now I feel like I am trying to talk myself out of this but we can't go on living like this.

Argh I just feel like giving up, I'm not sure how much of life's obstacles that I can take anymore. Litterly, though I've had enough....I've tryed turning to God for answer's but I'm just not getting anywhere I can't feel it anymore. The inspirations that I've had for so long are gone. I don't even know where to begin to pick up the pieces my heart has grown leary I think he has abandoned me.

I'm lost.