I really don't have much to say I've been so numb about life, and everything else. I just need more time to think things out I will try and post again soon, but I wanted to post my letter I sent off to Michael, I've posted it on few boards and some probably have already read it. It basically is everything I've learnt and felt having Michael in my life. Not having him and his influence on me, well all I can say is that I don't think I would still be here. Sometimes love does not necessarily mean to embrace with someone or share those 3 words. It sometimes can be just as emotional with a simple glance.



Michael,

Maybe we are suppose to meet the wrong person before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has opened for us. Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it does not, be content it grew in yours. It takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life to live and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too. The happiness of other people doesn't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

All this you have taught me Michael and all I gave in return to you the last we met were two simple words “Sorry” and “Thanks.” Now here I am giving you all I can of my faith, love, hope and everlasting friendship. There is so much we say to each other with a smile and a glance that mere words could not replace. And that I will forever hold within my heart. I wish you what you have given me the strength to go on.

loner

The Walk...I'll wait for you.

Here I am again lacking in my blog thoughts not sure much really matters anymore this is only done for my own sanity. And maybe by chance someone reads and understands. I lost myself completely in my pain. I’ve sunk to a low that it’s hard to begin to get out that I feel I’m screaming inside. All the things that I desire have become distant in my thoughts, they are in a dark place I cannot find them anymore.
I read a thread the other day based on walking along the beach, being lonely, and wanting that one person to share feelings, the walk with. It touched me reminded me of how so much I have been just drifting along my desire cast aside because I know it will never happen. Although I think a lot about someone I wish I could spend those moments with, but those times are to far apart and I do realize now it will never happen. But although I realize that even though friends, situations and other things have kept us apart it is always nice to know that when I DO see him that the glance across the room that we give each other is a blessing in itself and say's a lot more than 3 words could ever say or mean.
I will be there for you while you take the time if it takes my whole life I won’t break I won’t bend. The memory of choosing not to fight has left my heart bitter and shattered and when the stars have all burned out you’ll still be burning so bright.
There are just some of life's love's, passions that never cross or exist no matter how heartbreaking it is though life always has a way of healing the situation and those are the walks along the beach at night.